If you Google “how to sneak someone into your house,” Google automatically assumes “someone” is a boyfriend or girlfriend. But the person you’re sneaking doesn’t have to be either of those. It can be a friend/acquaintance you don’t want other household members to meet for some reason.
In this article, I’ll go into detail on how to sneak someone into your house. Remember that careful planning and analysis of the situation is your friend.
1. Figure Out the Best Hiding Places in Your Home
The first thing you want to figure out is where the person can hide. After all, you can’t guarantee there will be no one else in the house other than you and the person at all times.
If you’re sneaking in a small person, such as someone around 5’ (1.52 m) tall or shorter, you can easily find a hiding place. You can ask them to hide under your bed (which you should clean beforehand, by the way).
You can also keep them inside your closet and arrange your clothes in a manner that makes them feel comfortable rather than stuffy.
If you’re sneaking in someone the size of a pro basketball player, hiding them can be more of a challenge. Scope out your house for any extra rooms where the person can hide. If additional rooms aren’t an option, consider whether they can conceal themselves in a place, such as behind your door, where they can sprint if someone comes into your room unannounced.
Also, make sure the hiding place is as close to the person’s possible entry points as possible. You don’t want the person to tiptoe through the living room, the corridors, and other places people frequent to hide in a tiny closet.
2. Know Other Household Members’ Schedules Inside Out
If you’re not doing it already, pay close attention to the usual routine of the other people in your home.
Maybe Dad leaves the house at 5 AM and doesn’t come home until 7 PM on weekdays. Maybe your brother doesn’t leave the house except on Saturday mornings when he goes out to play with friends.
If you’re not sure about anyone’s schedules, ask them discreetly.
For example, if you heard that Mom would be away on a weekend trip, come up with a plausible statement like, “You know, I’m busy this week, and Dad might have mentioned it, but are you going away for the weekend by any chance? I want to know since I’ll be doing the chores while you’re away.”
Find a time when everyone except you is out of the house. If no such time exists, pick a time when the other household members aren’t likely to pay attention to the goings-on in the house.
Two of the best times to sneak a person into your home are when:
- Your other household members are asleep.
- Your house is hosting a busy event like a party.
No matter what time the person chooses to sneak into the house, it must be when as few people as possible notice them doing so.
3. Map Out Routes for the Person to Sneak Into Your Home
Sure, the person can enter your house through an open bedroom window.
But what if your window gets blocked for any reason? What if the person needs to go to the toilet at the other end of the hall? Where are all of the possible entry points into your house?
Take a piece of paper, and draw a rough layout of all the rooms in your house.
Note the places with high foot traffic, like the living room and corridors, and cross those out. Mark all the possible entry points as “Point A,” “Point A1,” and so on. Mark all possible hiding places as “Point B,” “Point B1,” or other routes.
Figure out how to get the person from any Point As to any Point Bs without passing through the high foot traffic areas. If possible, map out at least three routes. That way, you’ll reduce your chances of getting caught in a bind if anything goes wrong.
4. Pick a Method of Communication During the Sneaking Time
Granted, you can text the person whenever it’s safe to enter your house. But it may help to have other means of communication, especially if you somehow lose access to your phone.
For example, if the person is your neighbor and you’re sneaking them in at night, you can use flashlights to signal them through your window. Just make sure no one else in the neighborhood will notice your lights.
Regardless of how you choose to communicate with each other, here are tips to keep in mind:
- Talk to the other person about the signals you’ll use.
- Use materials, like flashlights, you use every day and won’t arouse suspicion if anyone discovers them in your room.
- Make your signal unique enough that both of you’ll understand what it means, but not so unusual that anyone else who sees will wonder what’s going on.
5. Disable Alarms While Sneaking Into the House
If there’s no way to enter your house without tripping the alarms, disable them first before giving the person who’ll sneak in the “Go” signal. Remember to enable the alarms as soon as the person gets in safely, though.
The last thing you want is another less scrupulous stranger breaking into your home without your knowledge.
If your home doesn’t have alarms, but you have a dog who has a habit of barking at strangers, put the dog in a place where it won’t make much of a fuss. Lure your dog into a room with treats, and get it to fall asleep if possible.
6. Ask the Person to Keep the Noise Down
Some people are lighter on their feet than others. If the person’s regular footsteps sound like a herd of panicked elephants, you can ask them to tiptoe into the house just this once.
If the person can’t help but be noisy on their feet, pick an entry point that makes as little noise as possible. For example, you can warn them about the creaking of the first step on the stairs to your room.
If the person is clumsy, clear out the area where they’ll sneak in, and explain this to your family members as you being responsible about your things.
If, after all the precautions you’ve taken, the person still ends up making a lot of noise, such as if they trip over a stack of books, come up with a plausible cover story. The moment someone asks: “What was that?”, reply with “I’ll check it out!”
After you pretend to check out the source of the noise, say something like, “Oh, I think a rat knocked over the books. Should’ve put them back on the shelf yesterday, ha ha ha!”
7. Keep the Person Comfortable During Their Stay
No matter where you hide the person you’re sneaking in, and no matter how long they’re staying in the house, it’s essential they feel comfortable throughout their stay. A relaxed person will be quieter than someone saying “Ouch!” all the time because their feet got squeezed too tightly into a corner or something.
If the person is hiding under your bed, clear out any dust or junk from down there.
Give them a blanket and a pillow so they can sleep soundly. If they’re staying longer, figure out how you can bring them food without arousing suspicion. The moment someone asks, “Wait, are those two plates of food?”, respond with “Yeah, I’m pretty hungry today. I was up all night doing homework.”
8. Anticipate Questions From Other Household Members
I’ve already noted a couple of questions family members might ask, like “What was that noise?” and “Wait, are those two plates of food?”
If you’re careful, you shouldn’t have to field too many questions. But if you have a particularly sharp and nosy family member, here are some questions you should prepare for and possible answers you can give.
- Why are you acting weird lately? “Oh, exams are coming up. They’re stressing me out, you know?”
- Who were you talking to up there? “I read an article the other day saying that talking out loud helps you think. I tried it out for myself, and what do you know, it works!”
- I think I saw someone who isn’t you come out of your room. “I think you’re tired and seeing things. Want to have a cup of tea?” / “I know someone who does cosplay, which is like dressing up as random fictional characters. I thought I should try that out.”
9. Prepare to Sneak Out of the House As Well
Of course, the person isn’t going to stay in your house forever. They’re going to leave eventually and as discreetly as when they snuck in.
Here’s how to sneak out of your house without getting caught:
- Take the map you used to determine the person’s route inside the house.
- Consider whether the entry points can be exit points as well.
- If the entry points can’t be exit points, find other exit points.
- When sneaking out, avoid the high foot traffic areas.
- Disable the alarms when the person is about to sneak out.
- Re-enable the alarms as soon as the person is out of harm’s way.
- Clean up any evidence that the person has ever been in the house.
- If you’re cleaning up the evidence mentioned above, do it at a time when the other household members aren’t out and about.
10. Prepare for Scenarios Where You Get Caught
As much as possible, you don’t want to get caught. After all, that would defeat the whole purpose of you reading this article. That said, the best-laid plans of mice and men often go awry.
If you do get caught sneaking someone into your house, here are your options.
- Feign ignorance. If your household members have never met the person before, pretending you don’t know them might work. You can be like, “Oh, I didn’t notice this person was here until now. They didn’t do anything bad though, so I’m showing them out right away.”
- Put on your best puppy dog face. If you know your household members can’t resist the face you make when you’re sad/upset about something, it might be worth a try.
- Give a sincere apology. If neither of the above options is plausible because your household members have seen through you, prepare to apologize. Take a deep breath, say you’re sorry for sneaking that person in, and don’t make excuses. If they ask why you did it, that’s the time to explain why you chose to sneak someone in instead of introducing them properly.
- Prepare for consequences. If you’re lucky, your household members might let you off with a warning not to do the same thing again. If you’re unlucky, they might ground you or take away privileges like your smartphone, computer, or other things. In that case, ask yourself if the consequences are worth all the trouble to sneak in that person.
Final Thoughts on Sneaking People Into Your House
Sneaking a person into your home requires careful preparation and planning. You need to account for everything that can go right and wrong with your plan. If there’s anything you didn’t account for, you need to prepare for the consequences.
Above all, you need to be sure the person is worth all the trouble you’re going through for their sake. Good luck!